The hilarious, thoughtful actor and the author of the new memoir Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys? shares a few wisdoms about life at 65.


As told to Leigh Haber


1) The Best, Unexpected Time For A Joke...

"When I'm not thrilled, I get funny. Whatever it is that's bothering me -- interacting with annoying guy at a restaurant, contemplating my age or losing friends to illness -- I'll start to chip away at it. If you can poke holes in it, it's not as formidable, it's not as scary, and ultimately it becomes another truth. What life throws at you -- you just have to learn how to hit it, which is a baseball metaphor. The ball's outside, you hit to the right. You don't let them go by."


2) Why We All Need To Say "I"…

"The other day a young comedian stopped me on the street, and he said, 'I can't get onstage at this club. What do I do?' I told him what Mr. Jack Rollins told me. Which was: 'Don't be afraid to bomb. Don't work safe. Be really willing to put yourself into everything you say. Make sure that you have "I" in your sentences, like "I think this, I feel this, you know what bothers me?"' Your success is in your point of view; it's your life that you're talking about; it's your observations. That's the best lesson that I ever had."


3) How To Get Over Being Bumped By Saturday Night Live In 1975… Or Any Other Maaaan or Ughhh

"To this day, there's still a little maaaan in me about being bumped from the show. That little ughhh. But those moments, you have to be able to push them aside. You just have no choice. You have to focus on where you are at the time. Because that same year, if Johnny Carson introduces you on The Tonight Show and you walk out there, and he's standing about 30 feet to your right, if you're thinking about something that happened a few months ago, you're doomed."


4) What That Silly Voice Really Means…

"Everyone, hopefully in their lives, has fallen in love and fallen out of it -- and also found out how sometimes it's difficult for people to get to that point of saying 'I love you.' That was the task of When Harry Met Sally. Rehearsing the whole scene in the temple of Dendur, I used this funny voice with Meg Ryan, because everyone's got a silly side, and, with somebody you're starting to really like, you let that silly side of you out. The director, Rob Reiner, said, 'Let's just shoot it.' And it ended up being, for me, my favorite scene in the movie. Because they're falling in love with each other, and there's little looks where they kind of know it but don't at the same time. And I think that's why, to this day, it still rings true with people."


5) The Greatest Part Of Doing A Good Job…

"Everybody, no matter what profession you're in, has some moment where you walk away going, 'Yeah, I did that one good!' Without sounding cocky or bragging. For me, as a comedian, this moment came when I hosted the Oscars. Johnny Carson called me afterwards -- and that was amazing, that I'll always remember. But I think one of the most important things is also to be able to tell yourself you were good that night. It's important not to have to get it from other people. For me, that was a long time coming, and when it finally does come, it's a great, great feeling."




Billy Crystal is the author of Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?





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  • Billy Crystal


    "In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it."




  • Billy Crystal


    "Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising."




  • Billy Crystal (with the cast of "SNL")


    "At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn't have something to say on a nightly basis."




  • Billy Crystal, Robin Williams


    "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."




  • Billy Crystal


    “Nothing can take the sting off the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other golden statues.”




  • Billy Crystal


    "I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." -"When Harry Met Sally"




  • Billy Crystal, Robert DeNiro


    "What is my goal here, to make you a happy, well-adjusted gangster?" -"Analyze This"




  • Billy Crystal


    "Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, 'This is the best I'm ever going to look, the best I'm ever going to feel, the best I'm ever going to do,' and it ain't that great?" -"City Slickers"




  • Billy Crystal


    “I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.”




  • Billy Crystal


    "Never say famous last words, because they could be."




  • Billy Cyrstal


    “Consider the rose...The rose is the sweetest smelling flower of all, and it's the most beautiful because it's the most simple, right? But sometimes, you got to clip the rose. You got to cut the rose back, so something sweeter smelling and stronger, and even more beautiful, will grow in its place.” ―"700 Sundays"




  • Billy Crystal, Howie Mandel


    "How do you find what's going to make everybody have this strange reaction in their bodies, this response that's sort of chemical and physical all at once - this noise and emotion that changes how you sit? A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great."




  • Billy Crystal


    "When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends."




  • Billy Crystal


    “I fell in love with the right person, a person I know and who knows me.”




  • Billy Crystal


    "It's more important to look good than to feel good."




  • Billy Crystal


    “That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.”




  • Billy Crystal


    "Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."




  • Billy Crystal


    "By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere."




  • Billy Crystal, Bette Midler


    "I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do. I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years... and always grateful that I get another turn to do something."